Do you ever feel like life is out of control? Boy I sure do and I am sick and tiered of it! It seems like this week I am constantly having to remind myself that God put me here for his purpose and not everyone else’s. I am sure that you all know what I mean, like the fact that every time I tell my two year old to do something I get the evil grin and a stony silence, the friend who constantly has a crisis and need rescued, the mother who lays on the guilt, the self condemnation, the inability I have to just say no when I don’t have time. I am constantly running around in circles and God has revealed to me that it doesn’t have to be that way. I have realized that I can love and serve others and still be in control. I am reading a book called Boundaries, it’s amazing by the way, and I want to share some of my journal with you. I hope that maybe it will help some of you on this journey we call life. In this book Dr. Cloud and Dr. Townsend give and example of a young man still living at home his parents have tried to put him through college, have tried to help him find jobs, and consistently feel run over and they go to counseling with these guys because they are at their wits end on what to do with this grown son of theirs. This is the comment that really hit me!

“He doesn’t have a problem. You do. He can do pretty much whatever he wants, no problem. You pay, you fret, you worry you plan, you exert energy to keep him going. He doesn’t have a problem because you have taken it from him. “

I had to stop and think about how many times I have been down right miserable because I had taken the load of someone else’s irresponsibility or unhappiness, and how many times I had tried to make someone else responsible for mine. I must admit that while I am a strong and outgoing person I am extremely co-dependant on those around me. I know what you are thinking doesn’t the bible say we are suppose to bear one another’s burdens, but they address that next and it really brought me some clarification.

First of they address the issue that we all need boundaries in the physical and the spiritual world, and if we do not set those boundaries for ourselves how can others now where they are, especially if they are non existent. Boundaries define your soul, and help you to guard and maintain it.

Proverbs 4:23 Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it spring the issues of life.

This is what hit me it says keep your heart not keep each others heart. WE ARE RESPONSIBLE ONLY FOR OURSELVES!!!

Am I saying we shouldn’t help each other Nooooo, I am saying that when it comes down to it you are not going to be judged according to Mary Sues issues you are going to be judged for your own so stop wasting so much time working on other people and work on yourself. I think about how many times I have done something with other people or talk to someone and then wanted to call someone else and get there opinion on the advice that I should give and then end up gossiping about that person, all because I was shouldering a worry that was not mine.

Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be temped. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. For if anyone thinks himself to be something, when he is nothing he deceives himself. But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load. Galatians 6:1-5

They give a definition of the word burden in the Greek is defined as “excess burdens” meaning burdens so heavy they weigh us down (times of crisis and tragedy), but the definition of load is “cargo” or “the burden of daily toil.” meaning we are responsible only for our own feelings, attitudes, and behaviors, and the responsibilities God has given each one of us. When I read this I thought about all the times I have taken someone elses load to heart, especially when I was trying to help them, or they had wronged me in some way.

My challenge for everyone today is what is you and what is not you and to take ownership for yourself and to remove others loads from your life I promise there is a freedom in it!

By the way I have facebook now too!!!!